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Naysayers Ain't Slayers

You know who your biggest naysayers are? They're not your commenters on Youtube that call you "a cow" (that's happened to me) or tell you "the devil is bringing you to hell" (that's happened too). It's not all the harsh critics you get online. Most of the time your biggest haters tend to be the ones that are closest to you. The people who raised you, or grew up with you. The people you maybe accidentally got knocked up by & now have to deal with for the rest of your life (been there, done that, right there with ya, sista). Those are the people that wish you the most failure sometimes. I have literally had someone call me out publicly online & tell all my fans that I was a selfish something-or-other (I'm sure there was a lot of cursing but I don't remember.) And this was before I even really had any fans. Some people want to knock you down before you even get up.

And you know why? It's not because they hate you; in fact it's probably more true that the hate they carry is for themselves; just a lot easier to project onto you. But do you know what YOU do? You force change in them. Change that they are obviously not quite ready to make. But they'll come around, don't worry, or they'll drop off from your life & stay in their comfy sitch while you soar to higher vibrations. Not your concern which of those occurs though. But here's the deal, your a big dreamer, and big dreamers make people very uncomfortable. In shining my light, being my best self & reaching for the stars I inadvertently end up highlighting (with my pretty little light) the failure of others around me to do so themselves. People start playing the comparison game & feeling like absolute shit about themselves when looking at me & all they think I'm accomplishing. And in their mind they say (or rather, their ego says) "Who is she to think she's so much better? She used to be just as bad as me." And there it is.

Now to be clear, I love the people around me and there were a few in there that didn't have their own demons getting in the way of lovingly supporting me rather than trying to tear me down (and I'm sure I've been a hater myself) but I suffered with depression & self-destruction for many years. I was always a force to be reckoned with but while pouring shots of Jager down my throat & banging a band boy in the parking lot my only enemy was myself. Back in the good ol' days I was entertainment for a lot of people. The moment I woke the fuck up & started to really change my life in a way that others could definitively see, it made a few people very angry with me. I felt that "who do you think you are?" energy directed towards me hardcore. People started speaking to me the way I think they may have thought of me for many years & I'll admit, it hurt like hell at first. It was a shock to realize that the people that supposedly loved & supported me seemed to want to so viciously (and publicly) humiliate me & tear me down. Felt like I was in a savage cat fight sometimes.

To be honest, for the first few years I had to distance myself from almost everyone I once knew. They had practiced the vibrations of what I used to be for so many years & in order to be something else I had to break free from that & get really strong in my new high vibes. Unshakably strong so that when I saw people of my past that knew the old, wild Darienne, my new self-my true self would be undeniable to them. You see you can't bother trying to fight the resistance of thoughts between who you want to be & who everyone else sees you as. Sometimes you just gotta get new friends & avoid your Dad's phone calls for as long as possible... until your good & ready that is-in your skin, prepared to shine with all the confidence in you.

So in truth the haters & naysayers don't really matter. They're really there to make you stronger; deeper in your sense of self. On a soulful level they really do want you to succeed & they know you need this kind of tough nudge to force you into your Truth. I'll be damned if any hater online or in the future of my career could be any match for what I've already experienced. See? I'm a tough bitch now & I have my loving naysayers that broke my heart to thank for it. They showed me where my heart needed mending; where it needed love. They showed me in the end that I was going to have to get used to being the only one that believed in me. And that I was the only one that actually mattered. It didn't even matter that God the almighty believed in me, I was the only one, with my own will, that was going to really get me to the top by my choice to do so. Not the people that supported me, not the ones that tore me down, not God itself...but me.

So you could give your haters all the power in the world, I mean it's yours give. Or you could pour that power back into yourself & do what the fuck you came here to do, my friend.

Be awesome, be magnificent, be greatness, be YOU. Achieve, soar, experience, express, love, give, have, thank... be.

Fuck 'em. Do you, Slayer. I got your back. ;)

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